Lonely February

What do we really know about love? These chic flicks make us believe that there is some perfect kind of future out there waiting for us, that we are destined to end up with someone who we may or may not love with all the love we can give but life is not a Shakespeare novel. We meet a guy and we still don’t end up with him in three days.

When we meet someone for the first time, there’s always this feeling our gut tells us that this person is something, that this person will become significant in your life. We just don’t know how. Then we meet them in a whole new level, in a deeper level. We know how they speak, their gestures, their personality, or sometimes maybe even their life story.
They actually send butterflies in our belly and it’s actually frightening that it’s true. I have experienced this once and I am scared that it might happen again because the moment you open yourself up to someone, there’s no turning back. All we have to do is just move forward, either as a duet or as a solo performer. We always wanted to sing a duet but we always end up as a solo performer. I don’t understand why we always expect to be loved back when we fall in love.
love back WIR
I remember one time when I told my friend that I almost told this guy that I like him because I do like him, a lot. It’s an 8 over 10. My friend advised me not to. She told me that I should just enjoy the moment. I took her advice because I also realized that if I told him that I like him then things may turn awkward between us. I am already an awkward girl I don’t need more awkwardness in my life. What I need is something real, something that will last. What I need is an inspiration to remind me that there is something out there, worth fighting for. I am in search for true love, and right now, that is what’s keeping me alive.
I have read almost every single article from thought catalog or elite daily so I could prepare myself when the time comes. I try to prepare myself so that I wouldn’t screw things up. I don’t want my feelings shattered to pieces once again.
One day, I’ll be able to find it and I promise you, I will welcome it with open arms and never shall I let it go.


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