Have you ever felt that you were part of a group but not of a circle? Because I did. For so long I did. I tried to get in it but I guess I just can’t. It’s not like it’s some kind of elite social group that needs social status or what but I guess we weren’t just clicking. I tried to get along. I tried and it worked out until lately something just happened.
People stared, people started throwing blank faces, people stopped talking. I never knew how or why it happened but one thing’s for sure, I felt okay. I felt good. I felt that for once in my life, I am finally in the light. I am not a shadow anymore.
This isn’t the first time that this situation happened. It happened before so I wasn’t really surprised that it’s happening again. For a month, someone stopped talking to me without any given reason. I tried to reach out but all I got was a silent treatment. I don’t even know what I did wrong or what I said wrong. It’s just that one day I got the cold shoulder. I tried to ask people so that I could gather some clarity regarding the matter but I got nothing. Even the people around us didn’t know the reason. They asked and even told me that maybe it was my fault. It was something I did but I can’t recall doing anything stupid because the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt a friend.
I’m tired of trying to get in that circle. I have finally given up. I should feel safe, I should feel happy when I’m around them. I should also choose my own happiness. I should stop living behind the shadow. So today, I will.
Friends are important to me. You just can’t imagine how.