Just recently, my cousins (the moNIECES as Ashti would call us) and I had a quick afternoon out at Patches. Patches is the burger joint in our small, busy town, in Villasis. It sells enormous burger that could feed up to 10 people*.
*depending on ones appetite
Here’s a quick vlog about that day. Watch it. Hope you enjoy it, and please…SUBSCRIBE. Thanks ♥
It’s 2AM and my thoughts are full of you… again! I was driving back to Manila earlier, it was silent, I was sleepy when it suddenly hit me.
I realized that I was courageous but not courageous enough to say it directly to your face. I was wise yet I was stupid to confront you with how I felt. I blew it all off.
If I had the chance to go back in time, I would rewind my life to the point where I was certain. Certain of the things, happening around me, which was you. I was certain that there was something going on between us. I was certain but suddenly it all faded. I wasn’t sure anymore.
If I only had the chance to go back to last year’s Christmas, I would. Then I could do things differently. I could have been a better person and we both could have saved our blooming friendship.
But life wasn’t created that way. If living was as easy as that then we all wouldn’t have learned. We may not be able to move forward because we all could have rewind-ed. We won’t be able to progress and see that there is a far better picture for us if we just hit play and go on with our lives.
There is no rewind in life for if there was, we would all be living in the past. There would be no present nor future. If we keep on rewinding to try and correct every little mistake we had made then there’s no sense of living at all. We do not dwell and live in the past. Let us do what we can do today. What’s done is done but there are far more better things that can be done. Stop living in the past, stop worrying about tomorrow, start living today.
What do we really know about love? These chic flicks make us believe that there is some perfect kind of future out there waiting for us, that we are destined to end up with someone who we may or may not love with all the love we can give but life is not a Shakespeare novel. We meet a guy and we still don’t end up with him in three days.
When we meet someone for the first time, there’s always this feeling our gut tells us that this person is something, that this person will become significant in your life. We just don’t know how. Then we meet them in a whole new level, in a deeper level. We know how they speak, their gestures, their personality, or sometimes maybe even their life story.
They actually send butterflies in our belly and it’s actually frightening that it’s true. I have experienced this once and I am scared that it might happen again because the moment you open yourself up to someone, there’s no turning back. All we have to do is just move forward, either as a duet or as a solo performer. We always wanted to sing a duet but we always end up as a solo performer. I don’t understand why we always expect to be loved back when we fall in love.
I remember one time when I told my friend that I almost told this guy that I like him because I do like him, a lot. It’s an 8 over 10. My friend advised me not to. She told me that I should just enjoy the moment. I took her advice because I also realized that if I told him that I like him then things may turn awkward between us. I am already an awkward girl I don’t need more awkwardness in my life. What I need is something real, something that will last. What I need is an inspiration to remind me that there is something out there, worth fighting for. I am in search for true love, and right now, that is what’s keeping me alive.
I have read almost every single article from thought catalog or elite daily so I could prepare myself when the time comes. I try to prepare myself so that I wouldn’t screw things up. I don’t want my feelings shattered to pieces once again.
One day, I’ll be able to find it and I promise you, I will welcome it with open arms and never shall I let it go.